Ways Stephen Kim might try to seduce you...

"Hello my name is Stephen Kim I'm 22 and I don't like to exercise. You see that mountain over there? I'd like to climb it but I don't have enough physical fitness. I'm also very poor so you'll have to pay for everything for me. I have a tricycle but it's too expensive to maintain that third wheel so I'm selling it. Then I'll just have a bicycle. I have three stickers on my bicycle helmet, they are of my heros: Barney the dinosaur, Richard Simmons and Happy Gilmore. I also sold my kidney...so I could pay rent."

"You. Me. That vending machine. Every day. 25 years for now. Maybe I'll show up."

"See that shack there? It's really a love shack. and I bought it for you. We are going to have 25 kids so that they can maintain the farm. I won't be there. See that mountain over there? I'll be there declaring my love to you. Also, that I have eyeball cancer. You might here me but if you don't, I'm not going to say it again and then I will leave you to take care of the kids yourself."

"On November...40th. I will get a facial surgery."

"Hey what's up my name's Stephen I'm 22, I'm unemployed and I don't plan on getting a job. One time a Korean woman welcomed me into her store but I didn't know what she was saying so I welcomed her back. Yeah that's right I'm always breaking boundaries, I'm not afraid to do things that others won't do. I'll go there."

"I have two dreams. One is to get citizenship, any kind of citizenship. I just want to be a citizen. The other is to do the Derek impression for Derek."

"Hello. I smell like onions and I always make girls cry. I dont know why. I just have that effect on people. Must be my awesomeness."

"You. Me. Jungwon museum."

"Hello ... I saw you from afar ... I'd like to extend an invitation your way ... I'm an unemployed illegal immigrant that has a mild history of hay fever. I dislike long walks on the beach and dates in general. Two years ago - I successfully sold my appendix to finance my addiction to cup ramen. Also, I can't afford a cell phone nor do I have any desire to check your emails so I guess the best way to make "you and I" happen is by bumping into you randomly ... perhaps at a ... vending machine. In rural korea. 

ok bye"